Not everything in life works out the way we want it to. That’s no secret, of course, but sometimes it can be really hard to move on and stop dwelling on situations or people that have been unfair or rude to you.
Recently I was having a hard time getting myself to move on from being let go from my last job. I thought I’d healed enough from it, but I learned that wasn’t the case when I couldn’t get it out of my head.
I’ve done a lot of journaling on a variety of topics since I was let go in February, but I felt called to really dive deep on it a few days ago. It started out as complaining that I was treated unfairly and how could this happen to me, blah blah blah.
But then it turned into a thank you letter. Bear with me here.
While a lot of things happened that I wasn’t happy about, there were a lot of things that happened at and because of that job that were happy.
While it didn’t end the way I thought it would, I got a lot of good out of the job as well. I decided it was time to stop the negative from overpowering the positive.
It was really freeing to let go of all that negativity. Even though I felt justified ruminating in my anger and sadness, what good does that do me or others?
Once I started writing the thank you note to my old job, it just kept on flowing. I met really cool people both in my area and around the world. I got to interview celebrities. I got to go to some shows for free. I got to hone my writing skills and get more fresh content ready for a portfolio. The list goes on.
Once I started thinking of the positives, I realized that this was the healing I still needed to go through. I hadn’t taken the time to think about many positive aspects of what went on before I was let go. And while I wish I had gone through this breakthrough months ago, I know everything happens when and how it should.
So I’m grateful for that job, the ups and downs, the lessons and the challenges, everything. I wouldn’t be who and where I am today without it. But I decided I wasted enough time focusing on how I was wronged. It didn’t feel right to be stuck in that place anymore, and the thank you letter in my journal felt like a really good step in the right direction of my healing journey.
If you’re having trouble trying to move on from a situation or person that you feel has wronged you, write a thank you letter about it. It can be right away or even months or years later, whenever it feels right for you.
If it’s hard to start, here are some questions to help you:
What have you learned because of it? Was it all for nothing, or did something else great in your life happen afterwards? Even if it was just plain unfair, what did you learn or do differently after it was over?
Shift your mindset from a victim to someone who’s in control of the situation or at least how you’re processing it now.
You never know how healing this practice might be, whether your thank you letter is a sentence or a paragraph or several pages long. The length doesn’t matter. The healing and processing do.