I have no idea what I’m doing, and it feels really good and refreshing to admit that.
We’re going through a global pandemic that doesn’t seem like it’ll be ending anytime soon, and life literally feels unreal for that and so many other reasons right now.
I want to dive back into my business and my blog and life in general, but I feel like I have no idea what that means anymore.
I find myself wanting to get back to normal, but again, I have no idea what that means anymore. Not knowing makes it hard to move forward because I don’t know what I’m even working towards!
And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, so why don’t we talk about it more?
I haven’t posted on this blog since May 28; I haven’t published a post I’ve written (that wasn’t a Q&A) since May 19; and I haven’t booked more than a handful of clients in the last few months. The list goes on.
I’ve been letting those things get to me, and I’m over it now. There’s a global pandemic going on, so of course I won’t be able to operate at 100% capacity all the time or even some of the time, honestly.
I could focus on the things that have gone wrong or not gone the way I’ve expected, or I can focus on what did go right or what I learned. I know that sounds hella cheesy, but it’s where my head is at right now.
Getting down on myself has gotten me nowhere, so it’s time to call myself out so I can finally start to move forward.
I’ve talked about it before, but imposter’s syndrome can be a real bitch. That, combined with everything else going on in the world, is a lot to deal with, to put it lightly.
We need to normalize being nice to ourselves when we want to just shut down because there’s nothing wrong with taking a break. We’re conditioned by the media and society and whatever else that we need to hustle and go go go all the time, but the last few months have really proven how that’s not feasible or realistic for most people.
So whether you’ve been trucking along as usual these past few months or you’ve been struggling (or you’re somewhere in between), that’s perfectly fine. There’s nothing wrong with you. There’s no right way to go through a pandemic, financial crisis, life in general, etc.
I still have no idea what I’m really doing or where I’m going from here, but I know that being honest about where I am right now is really helpful.