I’m not an expert on anything. Frankly some days I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, especially these days. And that’s okay.
About two months ago, I was part of a big group layoff at my job. It’s been rough, and something I never thought I’d have to face. Yes, I’m still young and have my whole life ahead of me or whatever. Yes, my situation could be a lot worse than it is. But it still sucks.
I’m saving up for a wedding, paying for student loans and other bills and just generally trying to live life. I’m not going to lie. There have been some days where I just wanted to lie in bed all day because does anything really matter anymore?
But here I am. I still don’t know what I’m going to do now or where I’ll be in one year or five years or anything in between. And that’s okay.
We’re survivors. How we react after something big, good or bad, happens to us is what defines us. I don’t want to be known as a quitter, someone who lets life happen to me. I want to stand up, take control and be open to new possibilities.
So I got on unemployment, started applying for jobs and do my best to find ways to keep busy during the day. My first official full day home by myself with our dog, I did five loads of laundry, ran the dishwasher twice, took out a few garbage bags and washed some dishes by hand. Yeah, I know. Talk about starting out with a bang.
Some days I declutter a lot; other days I binge watch shows on Netflix or Hulu or read (I’ve read about 34 books since being let go). I have a part time job that takes up some of my time, but I have more free time than I know what to do with most days (which I know sounds like a luxury but trust me, it gets old real quick).
I feel like it sounds cliché, but I’ve learned a lot about myself since becoming unemployed. While there are still days where I’m hard on myself, they’re becoming far and few between. This has been a big period of reflection for me, and I’ve really been thinking about what I want most out of life, my career, etc.
I’ve learned how important writing and connecting with people and being creative is to me and just how much I’ve missed expressing myself in this space. As I’ve said before, there will be some changes on this blog, but I promise to always be my true, authentic self.
I feel like I’m finally expressing who I am and figuring out how to be happy. Don’t wait to be unemployed until that happens for you.