No is a very powerful word. I feel like my default response to a variety of questions is “sure,” even if I know I don’t want to do whatever I was asked. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do, but not always. We have the power to say no. Instead of thinking “Oh, I should do this because of XYZ even though I know I’ll be miserable,” we can step up and say no. This lesson has taken me more years to learn than I’d like to admit, but I digress.
I think part of owning who you are is learning how to say no to others and yourself: no to going to an event you don’t want to go to, to negative self-talk, to changing who you are to please others, to dealing with angry or unreasonable people. The list goes on and on. Saying no can be really empowering and liberating. This is one of my favorite quotes from the show Girls:
But seriously though. I don’t think there’s anybody out there who would disagree with that. Most of the time, no one is forcing you to do something. But I convince myself that they are and therefore I must do whatever it is someone is asking of me. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to, but those instances are far and few between, it seems. Start saying no when you want to, and see how it makes you feel. Just because someone else wants to do something doesn’t mean you have to.
This should be our attitude all the time! Not necessarily while we’re wearing a yellow, see-through mesh top, but still. We are alive, we are worthy, we are awesome. No one else’s time is inherently more important than yours. Don’t let anyone else shame you, your time or your responses. That’s hard for me, but I’m a work in progress.
Shoshanna is one of my spirit animals, I’m sure of it. Women are just as valuable as men. Some of us may be more sensitive or quieter or less self-assured than some men, but that doesn’t mean it needs to stay that way. Stand up for yourself. Roar.
I like being weird, too! Don’t do something you don’t want to, especially if someone is trying to make you feel weird for not wanting to do whatever it is. If you’re constantly trying to change who you are so other people think you’re “normal,” what’s the point? I think too many people value the opinions of others too highly, and because of that we lose the weird, unique and fun parts of ourselves. Don’t ever feel like you have to dull yourself down to please others. Shine, you beautiful, strange, weird butterfly!
Eventually you just have to say:
Because seriously. Some people will just never like you. Sometimes there’s just no point in trying to argue with someone else. Life’s too short to get caught up in all this unnecessary drama and back-and-forth with toxic people. Start saying no more, and take control of your life. Because you deserve at least that much.
Want more tips like this? Click here to download a free printable with other awesome and actionable steps. Or don’t. It’s up to you, butterfly.